Ramblings Of A Hormonal Artist

The title of this post is quite an accurate description of how I’m feeling right now. Just a collection of feelings, desires, thoughts, schedules, etc, etc, mixing about in my head.

I’ve been in Atlanta for almost 7 months now and I’m still in love with it. That’s major for me as I’m the one that’s usually over something just as quickly as I begin in. Something about the eggs in GA really does taste better, and yes I’m talking about regular old chicken eggs. Lol. Something about GA makes me want to paint my walls a deep turquoise. Not all of them but maybe an accent wall or something. Purple is my favorite color but I love to see this one in designs. This is a wall mural I would love to put up in the house. (when I buy one)

I’ve managed to perform at Apache Cafe, The Naughty Aquarium, Rhythms of Life, KinFactory, Pangea’s Garden, CCCollective Open Mic, MSR, and a few other places. Today I agreed to perform at The Chocolate Room on Feb 5 and MoEss & She Birthday Affair Jan 29. I’ll also be going to PoeTry and Friends on Jan 29. I auditioned for the Nalo Movement this past weekend. It’s a wonderful organization of sisters that I hope I get the chance to work it. Jalyn and I have also started GSpot Radio Show back. It’s refreshing. (Hey, I told you this blog was going to be random)! The radio show is great and I’m excited that I just booked Leela James for an interview on February 17 @ 9pm. You don’t want to miss that episode. Remember you can subscribe to us on iTunes under GSpot Radio Show: Find Your GSpot.

Ok, so that’s my little bit on Atlanta and Performing…

Women: Ha, I will have to do another post all about what I’m feeling about women right now. Too many searches on expectations they don’t live up to themselves. And since when did “Hello” become a pick up line. You know, that used to be the way people greet each other. Seems I’ve been out the loop on dating. Obviously a lot of women think if you say hello to them then that means you’re trying to date them. Yep, that’s the new thing so don’t be surprised if you say “Hello” and she throws you her panties or run the other way. ROFL. Ok, yes I’m being totally sarcastic here but I seriously have come across a lot of women that have a hard time telling the difference between someone being friendly and someone looking to pursue something else. And I dare not delve into the attitudes that may arise because of such thinking.

Yes, you just may get cut for speaking to a lesbian couple because one of them are sure to think you’re trying to pick up her woman. Ok, I’m tickling myself but the funny thing, is most women need to worry more about their partners than the people on the outside of their relationship. I went out to the Ladies At Play party this weekend because I needed to let my locs down and unwind. When I say it was jam packed, I mean wall to wall and dang near floor to ceiling. Do you know that this woman that was walking with her woman in front of me kept rubbing up against me. I tried to play it off because I honestly thought it was just that packed. That is until she smoothly grabbed my behind and smiled at me when we were finally able to part ways. I’m not the one to cause a scene so I let it go but come on ladies… I’ll stop there because that’s not all that this blog is about.

(Insert random thought) lol

I’ve been feeling very emotional lately. I don’t know if it’s because I have a lot going on with me or because I’m trying so hard to make things happen. Either way, I’ve found myself crying for no reason at all sometimes. Yes, I’m not afraid to admit that I cry sometimes. It’s usually when I’m thinking about the things I want to do with my artistry. I’m afraid of failure. Deeply, deathly afraid of failure. Like so afraid that I might have a nightmare about it now just because I just mentioned it.  “I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my sh*t”.
Most people want to be one thing when they grow up. Oh not Nykieria Denise. Nope, I want to be like 20 and I don’t know why I think this way. I was born of Jack of all trades because God knew I was going to go through hell and would need everyone of those skills.  <– TRUTH.

Who are you, what do you do?

Poet, Playwright, Director, Photographer, Speaker, Activist, Caterer, Event Coordinator, Artistic Director, Actress, Freelance Writer, Radio Show Host, Videographer, Website Designer.

I also have a huge toolbox, can change my own locks, fix a flat tire, bartend, work on computers, paint, run in stilettos, and make my own ringtones. I’m the Poet Chic that tweets, talk on the phone, write a blog, facebook, and watches TV at the same time. Electronics are my drugs. Lol.

Thanks for giving me 5 minutes of your time. I needed to vent.




3 thoughts on “Ramblings Of A Hormonal Artist

  1. First: Congrats on all the performance opportunities coming your way!

    I’ve been to Atlanta several times. A nice place to visit but Savannah is more my kind of city to live in. If only I could find a good paying job in my field. They won’t come up off the money…lol…so I’m content to visit as often as possible.

    (Sidenote): The biggest disappointment for me in Atlanta was the discovery of so many SINGLE (and lonely) Black lesbians. For years I had heard Atlanta referred to as the “Gay Black Mecca.” But after many trips there, and much observation, I came to the sad conclusion that Atlanta may have the largest concentration of Black homosexuals (and Black bi-sexuals for that matter) in the U.S. ..but finding a good mate in Atlanta is a lot more difficult than people think!

    Okay that was my vent. Now moving on.

    You wrote:
    “I’ve been feeling very emotional lately. I don’t know if it’s because I have a lot going on with me or because I’m trying so hard to make things happen.”

    Perhaps a combination of both(?) Add to that your “fear” of failure, I’d say some tearful anxiety isn’t out of the norm. Try not to let yourself feel overwhelmed. Lighten up on yourself (I know easier said than done sometimes). Do what you need to do take care of You.

    Btw: Purple is my favorite color too!

    • I visited Savannah last summer for July 4th and it was pretty cool. I even climbed to the top of the Savannah Lighthouse. Those 178 stairs were no joke. Atlanta is certainly a salary decline! lol but oh so serious. I thought that I was going to settle here but I’m not so set on that anymore. I’ve opened myself up to living other places in the world though I do plan on being here for some years.

      As for those single and lonely women…. If only they knew, it doesn’t have to be like that at all. I spent 10 years from one relationship to the next until I realized that I didn’t have to be with someone to be happy. That’s a shouting moment in itself. I’ve had my moments the last two years, usually when I come home alone after a show, but for the most part, it’s ok. I think women need to spend more time developing friendships and less time worrying about a relationship.

      I am my biggest critic but I have to remind myself that I’m sowing my reap. With that being said, if the harvest is simply what I have put in then it will all be fine.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.


      • “I think women need to spend more time developing friendships and less time worrying about a relationship.”

        BINGO! Now you’re talking My language!

        About 10yrs ago I made the decision to NOT seek another relations (to NOT search for *Love*) …but to let *Love* find me. I focused my time and energy on developing real friendships with a few like-minded Black lesbians. And I resolved that should One of those friendships progress to something more then I’d cross that bridge when I come to it.

        It was, without question, one of the Best decisions I’ve ever made!

        Keep writing and I’ll keep reading.

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