I Said NO!


This is the opening poem from my play, Bend, Don’t Break.

 

I Said NO!

I can remember like it was yesterday
My friend begged me to go with her to her man’s house
And honestly I didn’t want to go
Something in my gut feeling said no
Something told me to go the other way
Be a friend tomorrow but not today
But she was persistent
And she convinced me she needed me
And being the friend that I was,
I went along
It was dark outside
Not stormy but dark and cold
A winter night not so long ago
We laughed and walked
As she filled me in on their juicy love stories
She made my half entertaining life seem way too boring
We arrived safe from harm
His house set away from the others
I can remember my mother warning me to stay away from there
In my mind I said
Tomorrow but not today
He pulled out a bottled of Vodka.
Absolute to be exact.
Like I said I still remember like it was yesterday
I only took a few sips
They had a few more
She winked back as they disappeared up the stairs and through a door
The radio from upstairs drifted down as I sat quietly watching TV
Hoping they would finish soon.
As I flipped through the channels another man entered the room
“What’s up Red?” He asked as he sat next to me.
Nothing. Just watching some T.V.
He smiled scooted a little closer.
I cleared my throat.
Moved away further.
He placed his hand on my lap
I moved it.
Boy, you don’t know me.
He smiled wickedly
I called her
She didn’t answer
I called her and she didn’t answer
Before I knew it he was on top of me
I screamed
And fought
I said no!
And he kept going
I fought but he didn’t stop!
He tore my clothes
My mother was going to kill me!
He hit me
I scratched him
He punched me
Unbuckled my pants as he was choking me
I blacked out as he entered me
I came to fighting for my life
Numbing pain enveloped me
As he erupted and rolled off of me
I ran…
Barely covered with only a shirt on
I ran blocks with people laughing and pointing
Tears streaming
My voice silenced from screaming
My family surrounded me
The police came and took me
Sirens wailing
Woo woo woo
Doctors checked me
Counselors comforted me
Detectives questioned me
My mother… cried from me
And now months later they’re telling me
I have a child inside of me
Excuse Me?!
His seed is growing in me
I was pregnant and too young to even know it
Oh God…
There’s a child inside of me and I don’t want it
Please please please don’t do this to me
He violated me
I can’t live with this pain and a child for the rest of my life
It’s too late to kill it
Mama!!!!… Please make it go away
Daddy!!!!… Take this child away
Lord get rid of this devil inside of me
I told him no and I can still remember just like it was yesterday
I told him no
I said no
And he just kept going.
And now there’s a child inside of me
And I don’t know what to do with it.

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