Date: March 10, 2014
Current State of Awareness: Irritated
Auditory: Adele – Rolling In The Deep
Cause of Concern: Her BS
Plan of Action: Retreat
“Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You’ll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow”
My days certainly deserve a header these days. A brief synopsis of where I am and what’s going on. My blog has crossed my mind frequently the last several months but family, life, love, work, and school has kept my plate beyond full. I want to go back and provide a review of what has transpired but that involves leaving a trail full of questions. To those of you that faithfully visit my blog, sorry I’ve been away. I shall do better. The resolutions I never wrote involved truthfully admitting my issues and rectifying them as immediately as possible. This will be a year of firsts.
I’m on the second week of a new job within the same company. I’m sure that sentence could have been worded differently. I digress. It was a very rewarding feeling to be promoted and recognized for my work. I put my all into
everything most things I do. As such, I love my new job. The only regret I have is that I didn’t take the offer in a new city. I had it set in my mind and my heart but I experienced a brief moment of fear when the interviewer asked for my primary location choice. I wanted to slap myself as soon as my current city came out of my mouth. I won’t dwell on the issue but I will always remember that moment.
Back to this whole being open… So I’m learning to open up and not be so secretive… That is absolutely 100 % against my Scorpio nature. We find out everything about others while rarely divulging deep information about ourselves. But it’s time for a new path. So here’s a tidbit to catch you up on who I am.
I’m a poet, writer, lover, sister, aunt, friend, student, and educator currently living in Atlanta, GA. I’m in my early 30’s and while I enjoy the phase of life i’m in, it causes deep reflection and promise of change. I’m a lesbian, same gender loving, queer… You get the drift. I love women and have experienced an equal amount of pleasure and pain as such. I haven’t been in a relationship since March 2009. Whoa! Yes, that is five years. My friend used to call me a serial monogamist but obviously that is no longer the case. However, I am dating which will prove some interesting blogs in the upcoming months. I mean that’s what most people have been really wanting to know about.
The cause of my irritation this morning is Adele. You will hear quite a bit about her, or maybe not. She has a habit of working me into the resolution end of her BS. Once she gets herself into a hot mess she expects me to come to the rescue and work it all out. Sorry boo but I am not Captain Save a H** and quite frankly I’m tired of being expected to be. Breathe.
My grandmother is sick and most times I don’t want know how to deal with it. I’m not used to seeing her in the condition that she is in. My grandmother was always very clean and independent. Now she’s not much of either and it bothers me greatly. I don’t know how much of her condition comes from the illness and which part is her just giving up because the doctors told her she was sick. So… I don’t go around much.
Fight or Flight Response
“Animals respond to threats in many complex ways. Rats, for instance, try to escape when threatened, but will fight when cornered. Some animals stand perfectly still so that predators will not see them. Many animals freeze or play dead when touched in the hope that the predator will lose interest.”
I’ve realized my response to stress or perceived stressful situations is the Flight Response. I can avoid a subject or person like the plague. This will be another post.