As a little girl I can remember feet stomping rhythmically
Small wooden church at the top of an old country hill
Dry red dirt dusting my pearly patent leather white shoes
Fans on high-speed
Eyes rolled deep into the back of praying heads
Wooden church pews sagging with the weight of expecting minds and burdened souls
“I will trust in the Lord.
I will trust in the Lord.
I will trust in the Lord until I die.”
Passionately sung with ease
Confidently throwing hands in the air
Yelling out “Yes, Lord”
Convinced a young mind to believe that trusting in the Lord was an easy thing to do
Surely trusting in the Lord must come as easy as breathing
“I’m going to treat everybody right.
I’m going to treat everybody right.
I’m going to treat everybody right until I die.”
Trusting in the Lord has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done
When nothing of my vision was within sight
No matter what I did nothing turned out right
The light at the end of the tunnel was much further than it seemed
When dreams begin to appear more like taunts
Forced into chasing jobs I never thought I’d want
Nothing is fun about a starving artist
Most don’t die from hunger but rather crushed dreams and a broken heart
When you’ve given your all yet nothing is happening
And the Pastor keeping jumping and hollering
Say neighbor, oh neighbor
I have poured hundreds into 90 miracle prophecies that never materialized
Cried through empty shows
“I’m going to stay on the battlefield.
I’m going to stay on the battlefield.
I’m going to stay on the battlefield until I die.”
Faith without works is dead
Trying to find the balance between that and trust
If to have faith without deeds is dead then what good does it do to have faith in fruitless deeds
Pouring into talents for a thank you
Stressing through let downs to make others happy
Being praised for an art that hasn’t made a way
Searching for the gift that was supposed to make room
I was told not to sit on my gift that continues to take without return
Still giving with a cheerful heart, removed from reluctance or compulsion
Simply seeking to fulfil my life purpose without dying unused first